home!!!

so im home. which is ace, becuase i needed a bit of time out, and some time to just chill out and to be able to eat christmas dinner without having to chase small children. dont get me wrong i love it, but its nice to have a break also. im a little bit ill, which really, is a miracle, becuase i've survived every single kindergarten bug going so far this year, but its ok becuase im not sick, just a little bit under the weather as we brits would say. today we had chrismtas, which was awesome, because i love our christmas tree.
im exhausted and going to sleep.

it's christmas!!!

incase you hadn't realised...so i just spent more than two and a half hours cleaning an my room is still not clear. although in all honesty i think even if i'd have had all day it still wouldn't be tidy. but it is hygenically clean.
i had a last blast at the christmas shopping today, and printed off some photos, which i now dont know where i put, which is silly becuase they're fabulous fabulous photos if i do say so myself.
i bought myself a new blanket, some cushion covers and a fitted sheet. oh and a cocktial maker...
i would like to invest in..
layered bedding set, just blankets and sheets - no duvet
a nice little bathroom set with a soap dispenser and toothbrush holder kind of thing, jazz things up a little bit...
i most definately have not wrapped all my gifts..which in all honesty is shite.

santa's coming in a whirly bird

a fabulous song - gene autry, should anyone (by that i mean no-one becuase im fairly sure that no-one actually reads this) really want to listen to it - which i would recommend you did.
today it was not as cold, and it didnt snow, although it was forecast with 100% chance of snow so you'd hope something would come from that. rumour has it the south of england is suffering a bit. which personally i've always found funny becuase the whole country stops when it snows. here it just kind of plods on and does what it can, but at the same time we all have winter tyres and shovels..

i just watched the holiday, which is.. very christmassy, and probably perfect if you're loved up, which i am maybe a tiny bit. but we're in different countries...and it just left me feeling a little bit deflated...and lonely, even though theres so many people in this house its impossible to be lonely. currently there are...8 people, soon to be 9, and 5 dogs...

matress wrestling.

i spent about half an hour trying to get the matress back under my bed. and if matress wrestling was a sport i would have one. clearly a sport one partakes in in their underwear, becuase anything else gets in the way. it was genuinely a stressful experience. i was reading someone elses blog yesterday and i have come to the conclusion once again that mine is not particularly inspiring..but at the same time it is a diary of this year and so it doesnt have to be inspiring as long as i write down what im doing..
today it snowed a bit more, it was really lovely this morning, we went to a tiny little christmas market, that actually was a little bit crap, but they had some really interesting stuff, the only problem being that it was literally -15 degrees and the barn wasnt heated, and even with layers and layers on, it just wasnt comfortable to stand and look at things.
i made some christmas cakes with ayla yesterday, and i made some little loaves of bread and... made some "drunken apples", basically apples cooked in some kind of liquor, and we've made some really lovely little gift sets for presents. im quite proud of myself i have to say, its all very country bum.


and so an update in the realms of my social life, went out thursday night with the ning people, which was cool, it was just a small group of us, there was no room at cole street so we went to this other really cute tiny bar down on the river. it had a sparkly ceiling AND strongbow, i mean what would be better. oh apart from the fact that the barman was also hot.?
everyones pretty much gone home for christmas now, so no more until the new year which is ok. mr im going to fuck with your head is back fucking with my head, but ..i kind of told him where to go, which im very proud of =] and im trying quite hard not to keep thinking about a certain someone else, which i think is also a good thing, becuase he's most definately the nice guy in this equation, i just have no idea that things would work out with him there and my being here. i spoke to my mom earlier after i had struggled with the matress and she was making all sarcastic comments about who i had had sleeping on my floor which was pretty funny, but sadly there is no-one sleeping on my room, and if they were they probably wouldn't be sleeping on the floor...

ok so i got mega distracted. i was going to come home and go to bed, but then i talked for ages and had a bath and blah, and now all of a sudden its past three in the morning. but really i had a great night. and so its all worth it. infact i had a damned fantastic night. and it snowed all afternoon. so im just happy happy happy =]
so driving in the snow....is quite something, i had an absolutely banging headache, and snow coming at you in a blizzard like fashion, whislt you're trying to deal with this headache, and drive really carefully becuase its icy, is just not cool. i felt sooo dizzy! i hope it snows more tommorow!

well im a little bit tired, and cant really be bothered with this..but i feel i should make the effort becuase its been a whole five days. my mom went home on monday, and i scurried to my german class, and then home. tuesday was our arty day, which was good and very cold!!! after my mappen course i went into town and got some beads and wire so that i can start to make a dent in christmas presents. . .today we went shopping, did the market, ordered our turkey, and bought our ham. we also bought pomegranetes, which in german are called grenade apples :P having some...boy issues again. well not really issues, just thoughts i suppose, and i dont really know what to do about them, so at the moment we'll just see how things go...

i hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

so today was my mommys birthday, and we did some girly shopping and then went to the ostsee therme, which is like... a giant sauna complex with some pools and jacuzzis, but mainly just saunas. however in germany/most european countries, people do this naked, and in most places it is actually compulsorary to be naked. now personally..not game for getting naked and prancing around but i figured i could manage it in a towel, which seemed to be quite acceptable..and once i had gotten over the fact that everyone was naked (oh yes, my first exposure to any kind of naked men)(yes i know im naive)it was actually quite pleasant and i had this kind of glowy feeling going on, and it was just nice, and i would definately go back again.
we then went out for dinner at the remise, which was really lovely. im trying to be good, so that i look fabulous in the worlds most amaing black dress that i possess, becuase i have quite a few, but in my opinion this one is perhaps even better than my ballgown, but i could do with losing a couple of pounds to make it look even more spectacular. so i had a salad and chicken strips, mum had pasta with gorgonzola sauce, and julie had a rump steak, which was secretly what i wanted, but im trying to use a bit of willpower, just until the new year. this does however mean that i am going to have to be quite controlled over christmas, which i suppose is ok...
i need to get my arse into gear on the christmas presents front, but i have made a little bit of a start over the last couple of days.

today i am filled with this kind of hunger...not like food hunger, like i just am feeling really inspired and ..i dont know. i feel a little bit like, im beginning to settle into my skin, and realise that you dont have to be a size 8 or 10 to be radiant. i went out this evening, and wore heels, AND lipstick, and i didnt feel the slightest bit seld concious, in fact i felt fantastic, i think im a bit at peace with me. which is nice..

i wish...

that i had the stamina to face days like these and still be standing at the end. becuase today the second i got home, i passed out on my bed.
now there is a home phone downstairs, and there is one up in my room. this morning at about half past 5 ths phone started to ring. so for a bit i thought i was dreaming, and then i figured someone else would pick it up, and then finally, i concluded that actually no-one apart from me could hear it, and thus i should answer it. i could hear both mobiles going off downstairs, meaning that no-one had taken theirs to bed with them, and that they couldn't hear them. before when i was describing the house, its certainly big enough that you cant hear the phone in the lounge from the bedroom.
so...karina wasn't coming. now she normally comes at 6 to do the morning shift until 8, to buy me a little bit of extra time in the morning. so i trapsed downstairs and decided to make a cup of milk (very sophisiticated) and contemplate my options. and then the babies started crying. so i went and got them all up and dress, and then they toddled a bit around the lounge. armin came in and sorted out what he could sort, got julie up and then went to work. julie called connie who said she could come at 8.15, which was very very kind of her. this meant that i could go to the thatre with j as planned, to see the frog prince, which was very very cute, as was the prince himself :P i followed christa, to get there. j decided that actually he didn't really want to be there, and so sat for the vast majority of the time asking if we could leave, i think it was more that he'd 3 and thus not so good at the sitting still for a very long time issue. so then we toddled home, he went to bed and the afternoon went relatively normally. the babies decided that it was a good idea to sleep in ... intervals, so like one baby slept at a time. which meant that i could not put my head down, not to metion the fact that j had hit the pillow as soon as we got in, and then woke up screaming that his ears hurt, which was a bit frantic becuase he went to the doctors yesterday and he said his ears were both ok. so we'll see how that one develops.
i was going to say that i hadn't intended this to be a total essay, but actually i felt that it would be good for me to have a good bang away on the keyboard until my eyes started to droop again, becuase i've already slept for about an hour.
julie came up with the idea that it would be really cool to photograph my laundry, which i think is a good point, becuase at this moment in time it really looks quite spectacular. its about...2 foot high and all folded into like a little triangle, a bit like a pyramid. its all quite precarious.
and so now... im going to check my order on crabtree and evelyn, and then im going to sleep.

she's a beauty queen.

erm i should be asleep. but...
my washing stand broke
i went to german
the babies went to the doctors
i had exciting things to write but now i cant remember what they were
i love the picture at the end of my hall that makes me look like a goddess, all the time, even when im in my pyjamas.everyone should have one!

happy st. nikolaus

a tradition served by germans, generally to make children behave as far as i have discovered, today i made more minced pies, and a minced..tart, and yorkshire puddings. im slowly going to become a culinary genius!
the pastry was made in the god that is the kitchenaid =] i could just slice stuff with that machine all day!

still trying to get my head round..

alot of things. like i was never going to be this person in my masterplan. im sure theres about 20 posts about how things have not turned out like i planned them to, becuase if they had i would be in my first year of a degree in belfast. i mean how wrong could i have been? and where am i going to go? seriously i have no idea how im feeling now, let alone how im going to feel tommorow. or what im going to do next year. i had his marvellous art degree plan, but i cant really see that happening either. today i:
roast my first chicken without any adult supervision whatsoever
made saltdough christmas decorations
im sure i did something else exciting but i dont remember what it was exactly...

sooo this is our sexy kitchenaid. its weighs about a million kilos, and makes fabulous pastry, and so today i made minced pies, whipped cream, and awesome salad and a salad dressing, seriously i could spend all year using it.
dont really have anything exciting to share today, my evening has been..a bit surreal..

it takes more this time.

i am...melting down slowly? thats not to say im not happy, becuase i am. but im still a bit in limbo about virtually everything...today i got a big big box of stuff from my lovely mummy and daddy. it consisted of..
lots of clothes
tescos shopping bags
shoes!!
paxo
oxo
blutack
tampax
more clothes
he's just not that into you
my scarf is not in the box, which is kind of the thing i was most looking forward to..
would you believe that the germans dont "do" the above items, i mean how can you have christmas without paxo???
today it was really cold and frosty and generally quite cool, it was very pretty and i took some lovely pictures. i was going to have a bath but the water was cold and..as going to clean my room but then didn't...

Life isn't just about keeping score.
It's not about how many people call you
And it's not about who you've dated or haven't dated at all.
It isn't about who you've kissed,
What sport you play,
Or which guy or girl likes you.
It's not about your shoes or your hair
Or the color of your skin,
Or where you live or go to school.
In fact it's not about grades, money,
Clothes, or colleges that accept you or not.
Life isn't about if you have lots of friends or if you are alone,
And it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are.
Life isn't about that.
But life is about who you love and who you hurt.
It's about how you feel about yourself.
It's about trust, happiness, and compassion.
It's about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance
And building confidence.
It's about what you say and what you mean.
It's about seeing people for who they are and not for what they have.
Most of all it is choosing to use your life.
In a way that could have neverbeen achieved otherwise.
These choices are what life's about.

I'm reading chicken soup for the teenage soul at the moment, and this is a lovely little quote =] but i cant find anything that says who its by..

"this years loving...

...better last, heaven knows its high time, i've been waiting on my own too long."
So I hve concluded that I will in about 29 days time, have remained entirely single for another 365 days. to be frank im getting a bit bored of this game.
however on a more exicting note, this is my 50TH POST!!! I never in a million years expected myself to keep this one going...so not my style. or i guess at the moment it is. . . also its the 1st of December, so now its ok that i've already started decorating, even if my decorations don't look particularly christmassy..i like them =]
tonight i went to art, by that i mean i very nearly didnt go to art, i sat in my car, made a phone call, walked up and down the river, walked into town along a dark unlit alleyway(alone. genius i know.) walked back, by this time about half the lesson had passed and i challenged myself to go in, becuase it would have been so much easier to just get back in the car..

this evening B puked on me, and its not even like little baby sick anymore, its more like normal sick. although to be honest it didn really bug me, it just makes me feel a little bit helpless when i cant do anything for him. on my way into town i was passed by 2 fire trucks, 2 ambulances and about 3 police cars, it was quite terrifying.

POST 50.POST 50.POST 50.POST 50.POST 50.POST 50.POST 50.POST 50.POST 50.POST 50.

so there is this friend..

and if she's reading this, she probably knows who she is, and if she is reading this then she should know that i would like to be able to say or do something to help her, and that i've been thinking of her alot the last couple of days.

katherine is leaving tommorow, which is always a bit sad becuase i very very much enjoy her company, this evening we danced to really naff school disco songs like...saturday night fever, the hand jive, we did not manage the macarena..but did have a litle swing to cotton eyed joe. we had a really lovely dinner and then sat up talking, and discussing life in general. we have discovered that generally people still ask for a smartie mcflurry and not a mcflurry with smarties. we also found it very amusing that even at 24/25/26 we are refering to gentlemen as boys. . .

"i dont really like the pope..."

my german teacher is very very funny. today she was talking about how she didn't really like the pope.
this evening i socialised properly for the first time in months, with people from many different countries. so there was;
carlo - the italian phd student
dave - an irish phd student
darren - an american blokey whos just finished his phd
christiana - a german who speaks both english and spanish
a lovely girl from kazakstan whos name i dont remember - a medicine student
diego - a blokey from colombia
a guy in a yellow shirt whos name i also dont know - nooo idea about him at all.
it was very very nice indeed =] and it was also in a bar that i've wanted to go in for ages but haven't becuase i didn't want to go alone...

catchups and countdowns..

so the last time i wrote..i think i'd just gotten back, and that means its been a good few days, which probably means an awful lot has happened.
soo sunday..i had a lie in, by that i mean J shouted up the stairs that it was time to wake up, and that he wanted to see me, and having abandoned him for a week it was only fair to go down and say hello, so i did just that in my pyjamas.
monday..we went shopping in CITIPARK, which was nice, sent of the portable DVD player to be fixed and then spent about an hour salivating over technology in the big technology shop. Did a quick shop in ALDI picked up Josh, did babies, and then went to my German class. And then get this, I socialised. It was very exciting! Accompanied by the italian PhD student in my class, we trawled the Christmas market, waltzed the streets of Luebeck, I learnt all about the devil statue infront of the church. He thought that they were building him a wine cellar, but actually it was a church and he got very cross and threw some stones. And then we moved the car to somewhere we didnt have to be paying for parking, and then and then and then we went the Mexican for dinner (dinner was his suggestion) I had a plate of Nacho's - they were pretty fabulous. And then when I went to the bathroom he paid for dinner :O absolutely scandalous. He then gave me his umbrella becuase it was pissing it down and i didnt bring a coat. Now who said chivallry was dead?
Dropped him home and then went back and veged on the sofa for the rest of the evening.
Tuesday - Art in the morning, babies in the afternoon. More art in the evening.
And finally today being Wednesday...
Got up... chased children, went in the garden with them, played on the swings a bit, drew with pavement chalks on the patio..came inside, ate lunch got quite tired quite quickly, went to bed and slept until about half three. I did the kindergarten run, which was marvellous amounts of fun, on the way there the fields were litered with dead deer just sprwaled on the floor where they'd been hunting, it was quite...ghastly really. I had a little cry and made sure I drove back another way so the little darlings didnt see them.
Lost 10 Euros somewhere.
Did a bit of drawing with Josh, built a ginger bread faliure house.
Fed and bathed the babies, put them to bed, and got on with the art jamming.
Drew a kitchenaid mixer, its marvellous, i will at some point post the description of all the things it does, which we had a good giggle at.
Now im going to edit some photos and then go to sleep.

now that she's back in the atmosphere...

so i made it back in one piece. =]
i did not die trying to get across london, and made it in time to have fish, chips and cider in frankie and bennies before i wandered around the shops. it did however mean i spent about £15 more than i needed to, but it was good.
i keep having little .. stresses, which is very very unlike me, becuase normally im extremely chilled about everything. but i find myself really worrying, and working myself up about not very much, even when part of me is going "this is really irrational".maybe it was just the stress of getting across london in time to get on the train.
J was at the airport with Armin to pick me up, I nearly put my bag on him until i realised there was a baby asleep in the baby seat. it was very nice to see him, he seemed very small though, maybe just becuase of his maturity i dont see him as being as small as he actually is.
you will be pleased to hear that the star situation has rectified itself. and by "you" i dont think anyone actually reads this apart from me, so i personally am very pleased that i can now see the stars properly.

the stars at night aren't as big and bright as you make them out to be .

one thing that i have really noticed, is the fact that the sky is so orange here at night, and you cant see anywhere near the number of stars you can see back in germany. its like someones taken an eraser and rubbed them all out.
i deleted all traces of the guy who was messing with my head, removed him from my facebook, and wiped his number off my phone. im quite proud of myself, but i thought i would feel a little bit more jubilant about it.
i never thought i would be this girl.
i never thought i would be the one to chase the bad boy, when theres is a perfectly, wonderful good guy around. never. but i dont think anyone can argue with what you're feeling in your heart. hopefully that feeling will now quickly subside, and things will fall into place.
did a spot of shopping with my mommy today, i bought..nothing actually, i didnt spend a single penny. actually come to think of it thats a lie, i had a shakeaway =]
back home tommorow, not looking forward to my cross london treak :/

closer to where i started..

boys=emotional rollercoaster. and im fairly sure at the moment its not even worth it, but i cant help it. god knows i've tried. i even deleted him from my msn.
other than that, i am enjoying being at home, and just having a break. we went out for lunch to zizzis which was nice, i had a steak funnily enough, and it was very good =]
and then we went to look at the round table to kill some time
and then we discovered the waitrose has popped up in winchester, yes you heard, waitrose!!! woot!
and theres also now a kath kidson, and a joules, and zizzis, and i feel like i missed out on quite alot the last couple of months.
we went next door for dinner, which was very nice =]
im missing the babies and joshi today, seeing everyone waltzing around with their prams and not having one. although im not missing them as much as i thought i would, but i think its becuase im making a conciouse effort to try and not...

my bed, is not really my bed

which im going to have to do something about, because my room used to be my sanctuary, and at the moment i feel a bit like a stranger in it. fair enough my stuff isn't all there, and im not there most of the time, and whilst my parents wouldn't say that its still mine,its just not quite all together.
today i made my surprise visit home. the looks on my parents faces were priceless, i got mums on video.
im feeling awfully confused this evening,
i swore i never needed a big house, and now im back from my big house, and the house that i grew up in, and that has for 18 years been so perfect, seems almost like a dolls house. its surreal, and slightly odd and sad and im cold and ahhh.
i need a pair of socks, but at the moment cannot be bothered to get out of bed and get them, i will do so when i get up to get the phone.
headfuck boy is headfucking all over again, even though i swore i wouldnt let him.
i had an epic cross london journey in a bid to get to winchester, having changed trains at..stansted, tottenhamhale, vauxhall, clapham junction and basingstoke, i thik 5 changes is quite impressive..
my darling brother didnt have his phone on, so i called beth, who had a bit of a go for calling from germany becuase it was expensive, so i explained to her the situation and we went to macdonalds.
i then scoured the charity shops, saw thomas, went to the pub and consumed my first cider for 3 months...
i found some pretty fabulous books for next to nothing, which was very excting! and i bought the bbc good homes magazine, becuase secretly we all love the bbc good homes magazine.
i saw alex and rupert and te boys, and chris and sally, and then we walked to the shop and bought a pizza and some chicken nuggets, and it is nice to see that the shop people are as grumpy as ever. . .
and now im lying in bed absolutely K'O'd and its definately sleep time.

fairytale gone bad

just becuase im listening to the song, the fairytale hasn't realy gone bad, infact its rather good.
today i came down early, and we came to a compromise that if i did babies in the morning, then i could go shopping in the afternoon, so i did just that. M had the screaming abdabs for about half an hour, and i could not figure out what on earth was wrong, he didn't want anything i had to offer, apart from calpol...and then eventually he calmed down and had some lunch. i took B shopping with me, which was cool, we ran around the karstadt restaurant, he was fascinated by the glass panels in the lifts, so we stood for ages just watching them go up and down, we ate cake and then went to the book shop, which was pretty cool becuase there was a slide. what genius came up with the idea to put a slide in a bookshop? they should be awarded a prize. he did alot of walking which was very cool, i think though that we need some baby reins!!!
we went to the supermarket, and then to another supermarket, and he stayed awake the WHOLE afternoon, and only went to sleep in the car on the way back at like 8..
i got him home, and being superawesome i managed to take everything off him, change his nappy, put his sleep suit and his sleeping bag on, and keep him asleep. now i deserve a prize =P
now im going to put in an order n amazon =]

i wonder what tommorow will hold =]

this evening i feel .. not good, i think i might be getting something, but tommorow morning i had planned on going into luebeck on my own for some retail therapy. but now i feel yuck and so i probably wont. i would very much like to go up and ride my bike on the beach, so maybe i'll do that instead, it would be a damnsight cheaper than going shopping...and better for me, but is also totally weather dependant. today we had our first homemade yoghurt, which was very very exciting, i bought a 2.5 kilo batch of stawberries to flavour it with, very exciting indeed!

nothing quite like almost running over a reindeer as a reality check..

so this morning i set my alarm for half past eight to put my heater on for an hour before i have to get out of bed, at half past nine. but i actually decided that it was warm enough, and the noise that the little fan heater makes, was too much to justify turning it on. then when it actually went off i put it on snooze for 15 minutes before deciding that i really did have to get up, becuase unless i wanted to look like a chip fryer i would need to wash last nights body butter out of my hair, which would probably take some time. went downstairs, handbag in tow, and off we went, until i went the wrong way, we had intended to end up in a little cute coffee shop, instead we ended up in the supermarket cafe, which actually made for much better sketching, as part of a new little project im doing with julie where basically we sit and drink coffee and sketch people of interest. we then we did a quick whizz round the store, and had a big palava with a mop handle, which was silly really. i bought some cotton wool, some conditioner and...some terracotta air drying clay for $0.49, which i have just made; two mice, one snowman, one house and a toadstool with. as you do at one in the morning on a friday.

today i went to my art class, where we are drawing sweets, today i drew mine to cover the page, in colouring pencil. and then to my german, which was good fun, although there were only three of us, and becuase of my art class i turned up 45 minutes late. my bad! plodded back on the schnell strasse (quick road), and then nearly hit a reindeer thing, so i slammed on my breaks at a million miles an hour and it turned around and went back to where it came from.. poor animal.

today when we got home from the supermarket i;
took a baby to kindergarten to pick up the kids
tried to diffuse the fighting over where said baby (N) was going to sit. this resulted in 2/4 children crying. never a good thing...
came home had lunch with everybody, even got the babies around the table, eating watermelon, as you do. they're at the age where throwing things on the floor is very, very entertaining.
put the babies to sleep
hoovered the kitchen and dining room
mopped the kitchen and the dining room
im not sure how i got to this-- but i decided that the cracks between the tiles in the kitchen floor where too dirty, so yes, i sat and scrubbed them with a toothbrush..cool i know.
i then polished the dining room floor with parquet cleaner, on my hands and knees
and then i cleaned each of the dining table chairs...upside down and inside out

whilst i was doing all these things our new yoghurt maker arrived, which is very exciting, becuase now we can make our own bread, and yoghurt. =]=]=]

just as we were getting ready to shut up shop for the night, the bucket with all the ingredients for the bread machine ended up on the floor, but becuase the floor was so very clean after all my wonderful scrubbing we scooped it all back in, reshaped the metal thing, and bunged it in. i then bundled all my stuff to the stairs, which i end up doing most nights. and did a few trips up and down them to get everything to where it needed to be.

then i landed myself in bed where i phoned my mommy and started to make a pig out of clay, but it couldnt do it, so i made two balls, stuck them together and called them a snowman =] oO

Fabulousness.

At what point do babies stop being babies?
I mean they're still very small, but they're very small little people, with stunning personalities, they're all walking, but not quite talking aside from the odd ma-ma-ma. I always assumed that babies became toddlers when they started to toddle, but really I think the babies aren't quite toddlers yet. . .
I want my blog to be fabulous, a little bit like this http://theprettyproject.com/, which is really fabulous and i just happened to stumble upon, which is quite ironic really, becuase the last post i left was about how i wanted to spend a little bit more time on me. today this meant that i did my nails, and i spent the last 10 minutes putting bodyshop body butter on my scalp in a desperate bid to stop it all flaking off in this delightful weather.
i've just reread what i wrote above, and if i really want this blog to be fabulous, then im going to have to spend a little bit more time being eloquent i think. I should also start to properly punctuate.
This morning I did the kindergarten run, in almost record time. Especially considering I left the cash for J's theatre trip in the bus and had to run back out for it. I cleaned his room until it sparkled, and put the babies down for their sleep, did some washing and tidied Julies drawers up for her.
Throughout the day I think of a million and one things that it would be interesting to write about, and most of the time I don't have the chance to write them down or anything, becuase I am right in the middle of doing whatever it is that I would like to be writing about.
Ayla came and we took 2xbabies and J out for a walk to see the cows, the third baby was with his godmother, which was nice. And when we got back, I was free as a bird :)

thermal underwear

i had made a pact with myself that i was going to be much more disciplined, i was going to start going to be early, and rolling out of bed more than five minutes before i have to be downstairs, this gives me time to sort out my hair properly, including a dose of hairspray to deal with the weather, which has turned a bit crap.
the mornings have turned into those horrid ones where you look outside and its raining and its cold and you really really dont want to get out of bed.
bacially my pact is failing, but i am eating more fruit becuase im a good girl.
and now im going to bed, 2 hours and 15 minutes after i had planned to :D

i feel like having a massive blog session

i know i already left one tonight, but today my head is reeling and so im going to write and write in a bid that when i've stopped i can sleep in peace.

and now i've finally stopped doing everything else i cant actually remember what i was going to write. i had an awesome chat with laura this evening, who is at home and this makes me a little bit sad becuase she will be gone by the time i get back. chocolate keeps appearing, like smudges of it on my bed covers, and in all fairness i iced a cake with it earlier but i cant find where its coming from...but i dont appreciate it becuase it means i have to do more washing, and i already struggle with my washing. no-one warned me that doing your own washing was a big deal, at home i helped with it, but i never took sole charge of it.

i kind of feel at the moment that everyone is going to get to where i want to be sooner than i am. like i never in a million years pictured that i was going to be *the* good girl, and the one to lose it last out of all of us, but i guess i always have been. i've never smoked pot, or even a cigarette, but i have gotten mindblowingly drunk on several occasions, thats not particularly rebellious. the most rebellious thing i've done in the last week is a U-turn. I'm such a wild child. i feel a bit like i dont know who i am. and i also feel like the ucas deadline is coming around again particularly quickly. which kind of obliviates the whole point of taking a year out to think about things becuase in reality you need two, one to recover from the last round, and a second to figure out what the hell it is you actually want to do. you step outside of the educational bubble and voila there is a world that you've never actually looked at because you've been jammed into a tunnel.

sometimes i wonder what it would be like to be someone else for a day, or for a week. someone who is ... i dont know, really pretty. or really talented in something. now dont get me wrong i dont mean this in a depressing i hate myself way, becuase i really dont. at all. but it would just be interesting to have a mind blowing figure for a week. the ability to pull off any outfit and wear outrageously girly shoes. thats where i would like to be in 5 years time, i would like to be truely arted, i would like to being wined and dined and wearing fabulous clothes.

its taken me more than a week to read a book, it never takes me that long to read a book. it wasn't even a bad book, infact it was a very good book. "Beating about the Bush" by Linda Taylor. It's a good girly sit in the bath kind of novel, nothing thats going to make you burst into tears. At the moment I am translating p.s I love you, from german to english with a notebook and a dictionary, becuase i think i will learn alot by doing so. yes i know i can purchase it in english, but thats not the point. Is it really sad to be looking forward to being able to go into the paperchase at waterloo station? and to go to marks and spencers? maybes thats what i will spend my afternoon in london doing before i go home, and then i wont need to do it when im home, and i can just chill out.


I dont actually remember writing that, but it was in my drafts from a couple of days ago when my head was in the clouds...

first stop...limbo.

i mean hello, what is going on in his little head? and why does whatever it is, have to be messing with mine? it's uncool, and certainly not fair.
today i am still as exhausted as i was yesterday, and perhaps a little more of an emotional timebomb..its good stuff this. i need a good dose of laura. and now all my blogs look all depressing and horrible, but at the same time in 5 years time i want to look back on it as things were, and today this is how things are. the babies are stil georgeous, and joshi is funny as ever, the boxes thing didnt turn out too badly in the end. we went for a walk today, i have several quite irrational fears
1. the babies being stolen my an eagle
2. being shot whilst out walking (its hunting season)
3. being attacked by wildboar
this walking thing is really quite risky business...
:D

i am exhausted.

mentally as well as physically. im going to go the full hog and write everything i think.
if i dont fall asleep first.
today i started at half 7, which really is quite reasonable. i just like to sleep, and stayed up talking to people. fi mainly, and someone else who is really beginning to screw with my head again. which actually has meant that for the last two days i have kept myself unbelievably busy in a bid to prevent this, but its not really working.
today i had my german class, i was in quite a cheeky mood, being in a room where everyone is at least twice your age has that effect on you i think. . . so i doodled and text and answered questions with silly answers. where is the plane faith? "under the house" i think it was an appropriate answer, we did alot of discussing the bible, and princess diana, and tea. and. . .alot of talking in russian, which i dont really get...funny that. i then went to the supermarket but couldnt find any baskets so lugged everything around with me. and then it was raining and ran to the car and went to maz bahr, like the german b&q to buy some wooden boxes. which turned out to cost twice what i thought they did and by the time id realised i had already paid and left, which is a bit shit really. i will sort that one out in the morning. and now im very very tired and going to sleep.

liver pate..

i am sat eating liver casserole. im not too keen on the whole liver thing, so im eating it with currywurst ketchup (for all those that haven't tried it, you really should!) so i cleaned my room, i even went downstairs to get the hoover, becuase mine is upstairs on the other side of the house in our art studio, but there is no door through from there to here. realistically its only probably about 20ft away from me here.
its been almost a whole week since i last wrote, so where do i start?!
its been one hell of a week, we had to take the babies to the doctors on thursday, which was supposed to be my morning off, and then friday armin was working so i had to be up early, and then saturday i had to be up to take my brother to the airport, and then sunday...armin had to go for an emergency dentists appointment becuase of something with his teeth. and then monday julie had to have an x-ray of her foot. and then today were went to our art class, and then came home, and then i went back to my second art class of the day, which was my first one of what appears to be the german equivalent of a foundation course. erm...lack of sleep. people messing with heads. and until tonight a messy room have made the past week a bit ... blah. but hopefully this week is looking up now that i cleaned my room, and my pin number for me shiny new german bank account came in the post, and...we bought tracing paper. and its nearly payday. :)

Long time no update

Tonight for the first time in a couple of days I felt at peace a little bit, I kind of felt that I was in touch with "me", and took everything around me in a bit more than I have been doing recently.
Before I came I took real pleasure in the very little things like the fact that the grass was green and they sky was blue (or in this case grey) but the last couple of weeks i've not been feeling it, which is sad, becuase I think its part of who I am.
I genuinely haven't had the time to update this in the last week, and when i've had time off i've taken to going swimming. except for at the moment becuase my brother is here, so we''ve gone out almost every night. tonight we went out with ayla, aylas sister and aylas sisters boyfriend to an italian restaurant and then to the cinema to see a film called manner hertz (mens hearts) which was quite good.
yesterday we went to macdonalds, and the day before we had a mexican.
i cant really remember much of what happened last week when i was busy not updating this...oh well =] i shall try and keep more ontop of it in the meantime.
the babies have all had nasty colds, and are all a bit blah, j too but he's back to his normal three year old self.
now i dont dare leave my computer becuase my brother will have it, which is a pain in the arse becuase i want to put my pyajamas on, so i have several options 1) i take the laptop with me to the bathroom 2) i go get changed in the corner somewhere so he cant take it 3) i pass out in bed with my clothes on....
im not sure i like any of those options very much.

new additions to the wardrobe

i appologise to anyone thats reading this and doesn't want to hear about my underwear. but when i read this blog in 10 years time i think i will have a major laugh at my own expense, and thus am going to write it down.
yesterday i obtained a wonderful new bra, yes. obtained. (it was a gift)
its not something i would ever have chosen myself..is brown with pink flowery lacy bits, and really quite me, so i dont know why i dont have any like it already but anyway thats besides the point..it looks FANTASTIC. a bit unlike anything i've ever worn before, and so last night in my laziness i went to sleep in it. (naughty i know...) and then this morning julie brought me breakfast in bed. i had a pretty good 24 hours all thanks to this new item of my wardrobe :)
i also bought myself three very unsexy turtleneck tops, beucase it's already bloody freezing here and its not even december. i think its going to get collllddddd.

fairy lights....fairy cakes?

i have taken to sleeping with my fairy lights on, which is a little bit odd becuase normally i just have to have pitch black. they're very pretty butterfly fairy lights. which i have just photographed, becuase i keep meaning to photograph things such as my bedroom, but i always put it off.
all done, uploaded and even annotated :)
enjoy!

peppermint tea and new york cheesecake

this morning i went to bed at about two, to tumble back out of bed again at 6.45, in a race to shower, breakfast and dress in time to take the kids to kindergarten.
today we had the first frost of this coming year, it was bloody freezing outside. the windscreen was icy, and there was no antifreeze in the water, which is something that definately needs sorting. had to be back for half eight, so it was a bit of a mad dash up to the farm, where christa had already left her kids with their omi, becuase we were running so late.
kept the babies occupied and im fairly sure that when J said "fairy child" to Benji, he said it straight back, but after that he wouldn't say anything so.... i guess we'll never know. this afternoon we had a truely german coffee and cake, and i dropped ayla home.
stopped to take some photographs on my way back, and thats where the artness began, although actually i had been writing little things of interest down all day. which i am now going to write here, so that when i lose the post it note that they are written on they will not be lost forever. drew, painted etc until 10pm when we finally decided we should probably eat...
=Peppermint tea
= Postman with dog biscuits
=Breadmachine in a hoover box
=Carbon footprints of buildings

cupcakes

i just found a blog dedicated entirely to cupcakes. how cool, and odd all at the same time.
i never thought that i would have the..ability to maintain a blog, but so far i would say im doing ok, seeing as its been like 2 months. something becomes a habit after 21 days, so hopefully i will keep going with it.
i have decided it would be funny to keep a tally of the number of nappies that i change in this coming year. before we went shopping last time we tried to come up with the number of nappies and baby wipes that we use in a month, i think we came to a total of...about 600, and more than 1000 baby wips, which is quite something!

everybody dance now.

i went out dancing..yes you heard. dancing. despite my better judgement i actually had a great time and am quite proud of myself. which sounds silly. but this is a big step for faithkind i assure you.
aside from that we...watched a film. ate. and....chased children.

melted nutella.

i needed a chocolate fix, but i dont have any chocolate. well i do, i have a bar of emergency chocolate, but i have no idea where on earth it is, which is really stupid, becuase in case of an emergency (like now, which is a chocolate emergency for no other reason than the fact that i wanted chocolate) one cannot find it. so....i resorted to melting nutella in the microwave, which worked very nicely, but i made too much and now i think i feel a bit nasueaous, which serves me right. i dont want to know how many calories i just consumed.

so yesterday we left the kids with one of the babysitters and went upstairs to kick start things a little bit. now no-one knows what i mean by this so...i shall explain.

this house is a hof. so its...an old farm, it used to be the old bakery actually. downstairs is huge by itself, and then half of upstairs consists of my digs, and the other half is empty and quite rustic looking, and then the floor ontop of that is also full of storage and rustic looking.( by that i mean practically untouched for like the last million years or however long). imagine a 4 bedrooomed house in England (like mine) and x10 it. i reckon thats how big this place is. its like a giant giant divided barn. it used to be used for the corn storage and grinding and the like.

anyway to the point. the second floor has an open balcony, which isnt really a balcony at all, just an extension to the outside, there are no railings or anything, its just a big slab with a wall on one side. and it has the worlds MOST amazing views. its truely breathtaking.

now becuase garreth is here, and he can do big manly jobs during the day like moving furniture and boxes and removing dead rats and bats (literally). we decided we would move all the boxes that were consuming the middle floor to one side and clear a space so we could put a table and some chairs in to make our very own art studio and just a general place to hang and appreciate the fantastical views. and so, now we have this amazing space just waiting to be used. i have said that i intend on going out onto the terrace to do yoga in the mornings, but actually if i have time to be doing yoga in the morning then i have time to be doing more sleeping, which is more like me.

i was going to draw a picture but i think only photographs will actually convey what the hell im talking about. for the mean time let your imagination run free.

last night i dreamt about cider, which concerns me, and means tommorow im going to have to go on a hunt, as rumour has it that edeka might sell some which would be pretty damned cool. becuase i have been wanting some for monthhhss.

i had a million and one exciting things to write about, but i cant remember what they were really. tommorow i have a whole entire day off. i have not had a whole entire day off since fi was here at the beginning of last month, which actually seems like an eternity ago....

i am cold.

i dont want to go to bed in my room becuase its a mess, which tommorow i fully intend on cleaning, but for now its just going to bug me. the one thing that concerns me slightly is the fact that i have started actually spending time in my kitchen/loungey thing, which means im pretty much pre-empted to make a mess of it as ever and then i will have two rooms that need cleaning!!!

another really long post from moi, which probably actually conveys nothing of what i actually wanted to say.

today i did not do any kindergarten running which was a welcome break, i also didnt go food shopping, which i dont mind, but its also nice to have a break. i slept and hung up some pretty curtains instead, and then just had a really girly morning, painted my toes and waltzed around in one of those funny green face masks. top times. i cleared the windowsill in the kitchen and opened two of the windows wide open to make my own little balcony and made myself a poached egg, toast and a cup of tea.

i went down in time to give the babies lunch, then we ran around in the garden for a couple of hours, then i tried to put them down to sleep, which failed bigtimess. then dad arrived, stuck his head round the door and pointed out the fact that maybe i was being a little bit optimistic and he'd give me a hand with them out in the garden again. meanwhile j was sleeping, which he does quite reliably in the afternoon, which is nice.

then i went to my german class, which i really enjoyed today actually, mr. italian phd student appears to be quite the comic, and understands my british sarcasm which is cool, it would be nice to finally make some friends out here. sadly now we have a two week autumn break, which sucks a bit, but again is quite welcome...

gieger gieger post here. im going to stop!..

i've had quite a productive morning and i've not even left my bed. these mornings are the best types of morning. - that was the blog i started yesterday. today i slept till 12. it was even more productive. =]

today is my dads birthday, not that the whole world needs to know that, but to me its relevant and in 5 years time i'd like to be able to look back at this and go o.o i remember..i bought him the river cottage meat book, which he's wanted for while now, i ordered it from amazon but i think i forgot to change the name on the parcel so it will be addressed to me. oh well im sure they'll tell me its arrived and then i can tell them they can open it.

today is.. saturday, which means last night we went laterne laufing and the night before julie's mum and garreth arrived which makes the total number of people in the house up to 9, which means the bus has reached its full capacity when we go out, which is quite a squish really, especially with all the prams in the boot.

laterne laufen - a german tradition whereby people walk down the street behind a marching band, with lanterns and sticks of fire, traditionally hosted by the fire brigade, who carry the firesticks. i would have a picture to post but i think my camera batteries have died becuase even when i charge them they only last about 2 minutes.

today we went to mobelkraft, where you couldnt actually buy anything, becuase its a national holiday here to celebrate the unification of east and west many years back - i think 19 or 20ish. but they open the shop so you can browse the furniture and eat cake and drink coffee.

then we came home and had a wonderful roast with yorkshire puddings, and apple crumble with custard - the apples we picked off the tree this afternoon, very cool! sadly custard doesn't grow on trees.

anyway this is turning into one of those long boring blogs, and i will stop =]

sniffing dressing gowns..

today a box arrived. inside it was my dressing gown. my dressing gown smells like home. so im going to sit and sniff it and have a good cry becuase i want my mommy. im half tempted to tie it up in a plastic bag so that the smell can't get out of it...

well...

...from having no updates for more than i week i have suddenly found time to update this many many times in less than 24 hours. this mornings was written in a very odd *omg theres a monster downstairs and its going to eat me* kind of way. when actually my nightmare was about a car crash, and so really there were no monsters involved.
now i am sat listening to the baby monitor in the vain hope that the babies might go to sleep. j is already asleep which is a bonus :)
there's also no-one online apart from B. so come online people!

can't sleep

well i can sleep. but when i do its all over the place and i have scary nightmares. i now feel like im about 5 all over again, sat here with all my lights on and clutching my teddybear and very much either wanting to call laura or home, but both would probably be inappropriate at ...3 in the morning. somehow broadcasting this to the world is distracting me.

cant actually remember...

most of the events of this last week. katherine came, and katherine left. i have been to the airport 6 times in nearly as many days and have picked up numerous children from kindegarten.
the babies are all now walking at least a few steps by themselves which is pretty cool and pretty damned scary also.
today i went to my new art class for the first time and experimented with oils which was pretty cool and very odd all at the same time. had my first german class last night as well. less surreal.
tommorow....nothing exciting is happening i dont think :)
now we are up to speed on my life as it stands.

hanging by a moment.

when we got back from berlin i was hit by the reality that actually i was now im charge of four children and would have to do my first night shift.
Most.Surreal.Night.Of.My.Life.
that alone is enough to put me off having children anytime in the near future. not that i had actually intended to. but you know..
very very fretful evening. poor fi was also ditched with me, and she was supposed to be on holiday!!!

we were here.BERLIN

berlin was quite a very long time ago now. and i have been desperately trying to find time to update this ever since. fi has been and gone, as has katherine. i had a great time with both of them =].

so Berlin. we left the house at about 5, went to the petrol station in the village, which puts some tiny english petrol stations to shame, its very old school. had a major heart attack when i managed somehow to convince myself that i had filled up the VW with the wrong type of fuel. cue a very panicked phone call to dad, and some very poor german conversation with the lady in the petrol station. but it seemed to be all ok, infact we got to berlin and back on just one tank of fuel (600+ miles!!!). we arrived quite late, having managed to find the motorola offices just out of town (free parking at the weekends!!!:D) and a 20 second walk to the U-BAHN station (like the tube) where we bought our 4 tickets for 8 euros, which we never actually used. when i later asked dad what you were supposed to do with them we found out that if you did not validate your ticket for your journey then you risked a very hefty fine.
found the hostel and went to bed.
personally i get quite bored reading long blog posts unless they're very very interesting. seeing as this is not hugely interesting im trying to keep it short but to be honest how do you cram 24 hours of berlin into a short blog post?
rundown of the sights that we saw:
Jewish war memorial (all the big black blocks)
Brandenburg gate
Potsdamer Platz
Haagen Daas
The Reichstag (which we returned to at night and was pretty damned cool)
The Art Academy of Berlin
and im sure many more that have slipped my mind.
went out drank cocktails, came back to the hostel to find a half naked boy in our room. very odd. it was ok becuase he went back to bed. and we also went to sleep.
started drive home.
stopped to check tyre pressure.
concluded that tyre pressure was precariously low.
topped up tyre pressure.
drove home.
nice and concise :)

24 hours in Berlin

THIS IS A POST I FOUND FROM JUST AFTER I GOT BACK FROM BERLIN BUT NEVER FINISHED.

i had a freaking fantastic time in Berlin. nearly as cool as new york, although we didn't do any art galleries, so i might have to go back and do that again. we drove down Friday evening, got in quite late, because traffic wasn't great. but managed to park the car where we were supposed to, found the u-bahn station, got on the right train, changed in the right places and found the hostel, pretty much straight away. i was well impressed. we got a relatively early night, ready to explore the big bad city.
if there was a prize for the number of sights one can see in Berlin in one day i think we'd pretty much win. having spent...11 hours sightseeing, and eating ice-cream. We managed the

#15-Sudocream, Calpol & Dentinox

Babies when teething are...fretful. In this instance it's fretful x 3, and all you want to do is give them a huge cuddle, which you cant because with the teeth comes really sore bums. J's mum sent us some really lovely photographs from the christening, which I think I'll scan when i get 5 minutes. I have a little list of jobs that need doing:

1. Wash & Paint the bathroom ceiling
2. Strip the bathroom wallpaper
3. Organise the kitchen
4. Put some lights up in the kitchen
5. Hang a curtain over the stairs
6. Plant my window boxes
7. SAVE THE ORCHID
8. Check the car is safe & ready for BERLIN (off to Berlin this weekend with Fi. very excited!, never been before, and the only hostel I've stayed in was in NYC, so this could be quite something!)

The babies moved into their new bedroom today which was very exciting, they used to be in mum and dads room, which meant that for a while now mum and dad have been sleeping on a sofa bed in the playroom. everyone should be cheery tommorow, having slept in their own beds!

J is ... being like any three year old probably should, and has gotten pretty good at having little tantrums. We share the Kindergarten run with a lovely lady from up the road (Christa with 300 cows) and her two children. Most mornings she picks J up and so I have to ship them all home again at half past twelve. Managed it all by myself yesterday!

#14?

I am presently feeling like...some kind of blubbering emotional trainwreck. and i want my mommy. there is no reason for this madness, except just being a bit overwhelmed by everything. on the upside its been months since i've really felt any kind of emotion at all, so it cant exactly be a bad thing. we went swimming this morning, it was rather nice. then it rained all afternoon..yay :D

#13. Theres a fly in my room and I think it should die. or just get lost anyway.

BACK! It's so, so nice to be back. Apart from this bastard fly thats really beginning to wind me up something shocking. It's huge, and noisy, and arghhh.
Today was something of a miracle I think. You always know the day is going to start well when you ignore your alarm clock until a message comes on over the tannoy telling you that its time you got in your car and left the boat. your 3 year old then tells you that he needs a wee when you're sat in the traffic waiting for passport control and the dvd player has been covered by an avalanche that occured in the boot when someone moved the bugged that had been delicately balanced as to not disturb anything. you then stop outside a fish shop. which seems to be the only thing open in holland at 7 in the morning. you cant buy a coffee. but you can buy yourself a fish!!! you then turn on your satnav, which has quite unendearingly been nicknamed phsyconav (we dont get on very well at all) to discover that its trying to take you home via hannover airport. not quite where i'd planned on spending my morning. this is followed by getting stuck in the worlds most giant traffic jam and the car beginning to sputter and telling you that the engine is failing. can we say uncool? at the same time J decided that even though we had just stopped for petrol and a toilet break, he needed the toilet. so we stopped on the autobahn (motorway) to take a wee. im sure thats highly illegal and quite dangerous. not to mention the dead rat lying in the drain.

-

(we got back at about...7 so we had quite a long stint in the car, and i have alot more to say about said stint in the car but this is taking up far too much energy and i need to sleep!)

#12

(Still playing catch up - pretend this time that it's Sunday)

Last day today! Trying to get everything in the car could be quite a challange. Julies managed to pretty much clear out the local charity shops, and thus even the Galaxy - as a people carrier - is going to struggle i think.

#11 - We're off to London to see the Queen...

I'm going to do several blogs in one night in a bid to catch up with all the times that i've either been too tired or too engrossed in some silly chick flick to write anything.

Pretend its Saturday, because on Saturday we took J to London to see the Queen (whom I was later told doesn't actually reside in Buckingham Palace at present) and some dinosaurs....

-

Today we went to London to see the Queen. except she wasn't there, so we looked at the men in funny furry hats instead, becuase what else is one to do with a three year old at Buckingham Palace. Imagine the havock we could wreck inside!
I discovered that the monument outside is great for several things:

1. Plane & Helicopter spotting - J's very favourite past time, aside from possibly bugger (digger in German) spotting and chasing people with dinosaurs.
2. Watching the Army blokeys run past
3. Poking fun, both at the Guards in their hats, and at the silly marching they do.
4. Eating picnics constructed by genius au-pairs

Having managed to successfully tackle rush hour traffic in Tonbridge, we made it onto the train in one piece. I chose quite the wrong place to sit, becuase I kept getting very dirty looksf from the people infront of me. Personally I'm thinking this could be for any number of reasons, maybe they just didn't like me, or children. Or maybe I looked like a teenage mum. . . I don't know really. Anyway, Katherine (last years wonderful au-pair) met us on the train, after having managed to board on the wrong side of the fire door and making a dash out of one carriage and into another during the brief time the train stopped at one of the stations, we were finally united. Katherine is quite London savvy, so we made it first to the Natural History Museum in quite a sauve fashion, especially considering we had the buggy with us. without getting lost at all. We spent a good couple of hours browsing the collections of delightful stuffed animals, and ferocious looking dinosaur skeletons we found the magical picnic area!!! Now this I definately recommend to anyone wanting to eat in the museum. Down in the dungeons there is their designated "picnic area" which I had no idea even existed. It's all kitted out with some pretty cool tables, chairs and playing space, a couple of vending machines and a little shop where you can get sandwiches and muffins and things.
After lunch J fell asleep so we decided that embarking on any kind of public transport was pretty much asking for it, so we walked. and walked. and walked. until we quite conveniently ended up in Sloan Square, home of the Saatchi Gallery. Talk about perfect timing. J having just nodded off bought us a few hours in which we could look in peace at everything on offer.
We stopped for coffee and nibbles when J woke up and made our way towards Buckingham Palace. I truely believe that he would have quite happily sat for hours by the Marble Arch just watching all the big red buses, london cabs and the assortment of vehicles that passed. Not to mention the planes and helicopters passing over, which he thought were brilliant.
By the time we'd finished at the palace it was getting late and we were all tired so we decided to head back home, stopping at McDonalds for a McFlurry to take on the train becuase we behaved so very well all day.

#..i can't remember what number i'm on. but i have my laptop back =]

I made it there and back in one piece! sadly there was no wifi at Hannover, but i manged to keep myself entertained with silly games for hours on end. I'm now sat calculating the logistics required to take a three year old into London for a day on the train. with a pushchair. . .

Mum, dad and christopher came tuesday lunchtime and we ventured to pizza express where we indulged in dough balls and real lemonade. it was rather nice.

My laptop threw another hissy fit and thus was taken away again to get fixed. Imagine my surprise when today my dad and my brother turned up at the door, having driven for three hours through bank holiday traffic to bring it back to me. how cute! must admit that i cried like a baby, and im still feeling a little bit on the homesick side.

#10 - There she goes again..

I'm off again, after a rather pleasant little stay back home.
-
Results went fairly well ABBBD, I'm rather impressed by the B in photography that came from very very little work in my little rebellious streak. The D in General Studies was probably to be expected, seeing as I wrote an essay on the failure of our educational system. Hit Winchester good and proper, for what I assume will be both the first and last time in quite a while. . bar hopped all night until we ran out of money and then ended up having to fork out £55 for the taxi back , which i thought was a little bit extorionate, but fair enough, it was 3 in the morning. . .
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I fly out tommorow morning, very early, which means I should probably be sleeping at this present moment in time. I need to be on top form to drive back across again! Who even does that? I leave the country in the morning, get back to germany and then drive across all over again. How silly. But I think it will be quite fun :)
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I'm really hoping that you can get WIFI at Hannover airport, It will make my stay there a little bit more enjoyable, and has the potential to keep me entertained for hours!
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BEDTIME.

#9 - Home again

Clearly jazzing up the blog didn't work, but I'm female and enjoy making these complicated, so here I go again with a much simpler blog, which no doubt I will become easily bored by and the colour scheme will change on a regular basis.

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Back home again this morning for results. Flew with Ryanair, which was...very blue and yellow. I don't understand how customs can be so busy midnight..? and that the queue for non-EU residents is always that much longer than the other queue.

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After a lovely lunch at Ruthies, I went and picked up another new pair of glasses and got my hair cut. It was all very exciting, becuase then I went and had an ice cream, saw Fi and spent the afternoon revelling in M&S, Bulmers and Dairy Milk. None of which do I appear to be able to find in Deutschland.

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Myself, Fi and the parents went out for dinner which was fabulous, it was nice to have some good conversation, until we decided that actually we wanted ice cream and scurried up to the co-op where its presently half price. In a truely girly manner we sat on the sofa with Bridget Jones, a tub of ice cream, two spoons, two laptops and orange juice from the carton, discussing our plans and booking flights to Berlin. It was very sophisticated.

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I crawled home and into bed, in the hope of finding the Time Travellers Wife online somewhere, so that I didn't have to fork out a small fortune to go to the cinema, which is appears I will have to do.

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We get our results tommorow morning! Theres a little niggly feeling, but none of the butterflies I think most people are experiencing, as to me at the moment it doesn't make a great deal of difference how good or bad they are. Considering the essay I wrote to the examiner in my general studies paper, and the fact that I pretty much stopped doing any work for photography half way through the year, I'm not expecting anything spectacular.

#8 - Jazz hands

O. For starts my blogs looking a little bit sad and boring compared to some I've seen and thus I intend on jazzing i up a little bit.
I also haven't updaated it in like...5 whole days! and to be really honest I can't remember much of what happened. Lets have bullet points of what I can remember:

• Claire Marie arrived
• Jess went home
• We went to the ballpool in Mobelkraft
• Everyone got ill. but its ok - we got checked for swineflu
• nobboy remains nobbish
• my brother left for Jesus camp
• i spent my first morning with J out and about. we fed the ducks, it was very exciting. (whilst the babies were being checked for swineflu!)
• i missed everyone at home quite alot
• i lost count of far too many things

Today:

• I started nice and early because Mom got sick and Dad had to a really important seminar to give
• We fed the babies a marvellous breakfast of eggy bread. sadly J didn't want any of my wonderful cooking but drank my coffee instead.
• I made lots of wonderful things that actually didn't turn out too well:
• Cheesecake
• Banana Milkshake
  
• Baby mush
• I did lots of laundry and cleaned out the bus a little bit
• We went for a walk in Wildpark Eekholt, which was very cool, a bit like a zoo but in the forest. CHECK IT OUT http://www.wildpark-eekholt.de/menu.html
• I came home, i ate alot and now im going to sleep alot too, whilst coming up with a marvellous plan to keep the boys happy tommorow :)
  

#7

screaming baby :( i just want to go give him a big hug. i don't' think that would help much.

some boys really are ... manwhores. and quite childish about it, which makes me feel a little bit silly. but its ok becuase i'm in Germany and therefore all is irrelevant.

We did the weekly shop today which was great fun, the germans are highly amusing people. all the stuff we bought nearly overflowed the trolley, and then we managed to leave a bag inside the store. which i had to walk miles back to go get. came home, fed the babies, put everyone to bed and then had a couple of hours peace which was nice. i need to start keeping a list of all the things i need to do, and buy. curtains are quite a high priority should anyone have the desire to send me some :P
tommorow a friend of Julies is coming to stay, which should be fun becuase it means theres an extra pair of hands around to do exciting things like play in the ballpool at Mobelkraft! In germany most supermarkets and shopping centres have free supervised play areas, like the ones they have in IKEA. which means you can just go to the supermarket to play in the ballpool come adventure playground thing. i'm very much enjoying this, as it gives me an excuse to act as though i'm about three on quite a regular basis.
Home in just over a week! for those dreaded results, that i'm not really dreading because more recently they've become a little bit more irrelevant seeing as i have no idea in hells name what im going to do with my life. im sure eventually i will find my feet and do something i really love. Very much looking forward to Thursday night, regardless of how things turn out. much less looking forward to saurday morning when i've decided it would be a good idea to fly southampton - hannover and trek it up to luebeck on the train. this could end very badly, but i'll be sure to keep the world posted!
As ever its bedtime!

#6

Oh golly! No update in days. Well just a quicky as I have to get off the computer. Today was a bit of a lazy day. I didn't go down for breakfast and was brought coffee and a baby monitor to me in bed. SO I stayed there quite contently until the babies started screaming, I went down to find one poking another through the bars of his cot, which was quite funny. Then we had lunch and I retreated back upstairs, where I slept quite alot of the afternoon away.
Yesterday we went to he 24 hour go-kart race - very exciting german villagey stuff if i do say so myself. Sadly our village didn't win, but it was a nice afternoon out with everyone.
BEDTIME!

#5

lalala. it's very early in the morning and i should be fast asleep! today we got very lost twice, once in the nanny-mobile. once in the bus. getting lost in a bus and then not being able to find anywhere to park it is quite stressful..but we made it home in one piece and with chocolate so all was well. we created an adventure playground in the back garden, complete with a castle, paddling pool and sprinklers! very very exciting. it's j's birthday tommorow, which is very exiciting. thomas the tank engine cake stylee, however is yet to be created. we have blue food dye, so all is well in the world.
i went on a little flight booking spree due to ryanairs awesome $1 sale. although the cheeky buggers then charge a $10 fee for any card transaction to make up for it. but still $12 return is not bad at all, you can't even get the train up to london for that much!!!
off to bed ready for tommorows festivities!

#4

i'm doing this now whilst i have five minutes spare so that i can get an early night. im exhausted! we went to the beach this morning with J + 1 baby, and it was all sunny and sandy and lovely. even the jellyfish were lovely. babies wouldn't sleep again, which meant that i couldn't have a nap, but i think i will now instead. met one of the other home helps today which was nice because she's been ill for some time. if anyone can provide me with advice on making a thomas the tank engine cake, feel free´- J is 3 on Friday! :p.
naptime!

#3

a night on the town! this evening we went into the big, bad city. very exciting it was as there's a big music festival going on, and so the whole place was just buzzing with life. there were little tents with fairy lights and chandeliers and it was all quite magical, if very very surreal. a bit Alice in wonderland like.

Today i got officially registered! very exciting. no entirely sure what i gain from doing so apart from the ability to open a bank account. the babies wouldn't sleep, which was BAD becuase i could have really done with a snooze myself. In the end we went on quite a long walk to the little shop down the road. panicked a bit at the idea of speaking german, and ordered some pork from the deli counter. it's a good job i'm trying so hard to be brave. once again im exhausted.!!!

#2

so the alarm clock's set for a little later tomorrow, when I shall be going to do all things officially German. What moron leaves all their paperwork(birth certificate, driving license, passport etc...) for registering themselves in the car... (which was on it's way to Brussels by the time anyone noticed). I do!. And then I managed to break the brand new laptop aswell!. Today Jess arrived, which was very exciting because we got to spend the morning at the airport, where we had some coffee and fought over racing cars, went into Luebeck and had another proper German breakfast.
Jess was given the grand tour of the house and its jungle like gardens, warned about the bastard wasps, and ridiculous sized tractors.(Which are really big, flashy and noisy - especially at midnight.) Put the babies and J down for a nap and they slept alllll afternoon which was fabulous! So I re-arranged some more of my rubbish and started to organize my little library, until I was distracted by the Time Travellers Wife, which I need to cram before I go see the film.
Managed to be convinced to drive a really old Ford transit bus, which was quite an experience - do NOT put it into first when you're doing about 50. made it home alive, had spag bog for tea, tried to tame tantruming babies and raved to some Mama Mia.

#1

being woken by a three year old...definitely going to take some getting used to, as is Sunday breakfast German style. Hung out in the Jungle (the garden, which quite resembles the amazon rain forest) complete with creepy crawlies galore for most of the day. Proceeded to be stung by some bastard wasp, and was bitten all over, definitely time to get out the marmite. Once again I should probably head to bed, up early tomorrow to pick up potential Au-pair #2 from the airport with the children in tow. By the end of this year I'm going to be an organizational genius, the co-ordination needed to keep triplets and a three year old happy is quite something i assure you.(and a skill I'm yet to acquire).nappies, dummies and spoons will be flying in four different directions until i get a hold of it all, by which time the babies will be walking, also in different directions.

The Arrival

so...I'm trying to reorganize all my possessions, which recently were shoveled into boxes and suitcases to make one hell of a journey across the channel. after almost 2 days straight traveling (+ a stop in a very swanky hotel halfway) I have arrived at my destination. I've never kept a diary, but i think it would be a shame to not document this coming year, and it keeps everyone (especially the parents - up to date with what I'm up to).
I have a funny feeling a few sleepless nights are going to be in order, until I get a hang of the notion of 3 screaming babies and a screaming toddler...