snow and running outside

so the gym membership isn't going great. the running outside however, is. i signed up to run the royal parks half marathon in october, so i'm going to have to start getting good and having a little bit of perseverance. i would like to make the observation that even when it snows in london, it's not quiet. most places get very hushed by snow, every stands still. not london! so far the job is going well, the being single is....single. and i am very happy :) i just sent off my application to volunteer at great ormond street hopsital, so we shall see what happens with that!

settling in : part II

I'm kind of tempted to go back to my very first blog post and do a comparison. But I don't think you can really compare German countryside, to central London. I have sorted out my room, to almost how I want it, I still need a few bits and bobs, and would like to be in charge of a hoover, but I think in the very worst case I can borrow the little handheld dyson from downstairs.
I got out of bed, and opened the windows, and then got back into bed again...I'm sure that counts as productive, I'll go to the gym later to make up for it. Yes, I joined the gym! In less than a week of being here fulltime. I'm quite proud that I actually got off my arse and did something without waiting months first. Now we'll just have to see whether or not I use it. I think I will.

i am SO SO MAD at you. for making me feel like this. with...what less than 10 words. I am fuming, and I want to tell you that, but it won't make an ounce of difference. I found this:
I wanna write 'i miss you' on a rock and throw it at your face so you know how much it hurts to miss you
I feel like i could punch your lights out, i am so, so unbelievably angry, and all I can do is cry. fuck you.

Christmas day!

Happy Christmas!
I'm pretty sure no-one reads this, but I'll read it back in a few years time and can be safe in the knowledge that I at least wished myself a happy christmas!

I completed my first aid course - and am now qualified in paediatric first aid, and did my first week at work. It was really great, sometimes the days were long, other times the days just flew by. It seems like much more than a week since I was sitting in someones lounge in Harrow puffing into a small plastic baby to try and inflate its lungs! I got a place to study Midwifery at Kings, which is pretty damned amazing, and what I've been dreaming of since I was about 12, so I', very, very happy about that one. Going to the selection day confirmed that I was still in love with the place, and very much liked the people there.

The last post where I was ok about the Mr G thing, I am still ok. But he rocked the boat a little by wishing me a Happy Christmas and asking me how I was doing this afternoon. I'm sure it'll only take me until tomorrow to get over it again though....10 weeks today! It can only get better I suppose.

This evening we're having duck, and I've not eaten much today so I'm very much looking forward to it. It's 4pm and dark already, and the weather is really not very wintery. We spoke to J and the kids this morning, they all seemed in high spirits, looking forward to seeing the boys in a few days time!

monday

I start my new job on Monday - and have a first aid course on Sunday - it kind of worries me that for the next..4 years, I'm literally not going to get a break, but at the same time I'm OK with it because I've spent the last 3 years doing whatever I wanted to do.

Also, I was doing something thinking yesterday. I think I'm getting to be OK with the whole Mr.G thing, because I had the...honeymoon bliss that most couples don't get for years. We had our flat, and we had weekends off, and we ate breakfast in bed and showered together often and etc etc etc. There was no reason for us to be living in different places, so there was no waiting to see each other. We were both there the majority of the time (when we weren't working...) and in that respect I'm kind of happy to be single, I don't wait up until 4am to make sure he gets home OK, and I don't worry about anyone elses mess.- Don't take it to be coldhearted, I'm just trying to find the good parts in what happened...and now I feel like I can be happy by myself, because I don't feel the need to strive to be in a relationship long enough to move in with someone, and eat breakfast with them, and shower with them, and get into the same bed every night. Because for the mean-time I've been there, and done that, and it was good.

set fire to the rain.

Sometimes, I wake up by the door
And heard you calling, must be waiting for you
Even now when we're already over
I can't help myself from looking for you

long time no writing!

er. i went to australia and new zealand
and then moved home. and today i got a new job.
i will be a nanny - a real nanny - to triplets, all girls this time and a little bit smaller than what im used to at 5 months.
still planning to study next year.
i broke up with mr g. (5 weeks yesterday *sobs*), i say broke up. more we came to some silly mutual understanding that it wasn't going to work because i want to be here and he wants to be there.
so i think the au-pair-diary can officially change to the nanny diaries - which i think have already been written.